Can We Give Ourselves a Break?

Drive down any street, turn on the television or sit in any specialty coffee house and you’re likely to hear a singular recurring message: You/I/We are not good enough. You need plastic surgery, therapy, drugs and ab training to better yourself. I could use a refinance to rehab my remodel. We’re killing the earth and  psychologically damaging our children. Our pets are no better off—they need several cable channels and satellite radio stations dedicated to their plight.

Over the last fifty or sixty years, the American identity has been shaped by the media. Film and television creates a lens through which we define ourselves and others. It’s almost as if we have all become documentary Film-makers, wandering the streets of our everyday lives, filming, editing and interjecting commentary, for our next big Sundance hit.

Photo Courtesy: sansartifice.wordpress.com

In the early 1980s, Film-maker Michael Moore spliced and edited our natural flow to create “a meaningful political learning experience” all in the name of education. This genre opened a door to a “reality” never seen before: Americana up close and personal. It seemed, at least for a while, that having our attention yanked to any and every major and minor event, at all hours, might expand our horizons, but alas, no. Instead of taking the informational mirror held before us as a mere piece in the virtual puzzle of our lives,
we have become a paranoid group of busybodies—afraid of speaking our truth and ruffling the feathers of anyone with a cell phone camera and a blog.

This hyper-objectivity separates us from humanity. Our human-ness and personal experiences can only be viewed as how others see us. The popularity and mutation of websites-turned-shows, like TMZ, graphically defines our plunge into demonic, collective self-deprecation—one celebrity soul at a time. Meantime, where’s the feeling?

How in the world do we truly experience anything anymore—emotionally or otherwise? The guilt and burden with which we must exist is almost too much to bear. Gone are the days of the Native American steering his canoe through a polluted river in the classic 1970s PSA. Now, we watch news spattered with regurgitated rhetoric, gleaned from questionable national news sources. In fact, so many highly regarded journalists have been called out for snagging snippets from undocumented sources, it’s a wonder our local
newscasters can deliver the evening news with a straight face.

Our spiritual and cultural evolution continues despite our current socio-economic boons and plunges. Depending on the data used and the expert cited we are either the most evil of evils or victims of circumstances beyond our control. Either way, the pressure to perform is on. Women must succeed in both career and procreation or suffer at the hands of others who have and men must continue to produce and protect all while making a mint and being sensitive to humanity.

What if we did give ourselves a break?

Would TMZ cease to exist? Imagine if the plug was suddenly pulled on Rupert Murdoch’s tabloids and we no longer had a desire to see what Sarah Jessica Parker’s surrogate had for breakfast today? Turn back the clock and John Lennon couldn’t even write a song about that one. If we started looking inside instead of out, we might find that which we treasured most was least important. All those things we worry about on a daily basis might disappear and our intense drive to do, be and have the best might lessen—perhaps.

Left : Comfort Quilt
Photo Courtesy: scrapbook.citizen-citizen.com

The reason it is hard to imagine what our world would be like if we gave ourselves a break is because, just like a bell, it is hard to undo the already done. We know so much and even if it all were to go away today, our identity would have to evolve into something new—a combination of what it was and what it should/would/could be. Comfort and safety plays a large role in any human’s ability to change. So, if things are easy and comfortable, why change? People only change when forced to do so—case in point, our deplorable economy. The economic situation is forcing people to take care of themselves by cutting back on expenses and saving money. And sometimes change, even if it is for the best, is uncomfortable.

During life’s most difficult times, people become focused on a power bigger than themselves. Is spirituality the answer? The power of prayer has had clearly documented positive results. Connecting with a higher power can heal, calm and balance emotions. Unfortunately, not all people understand this and no amount of praying or self examination is going to bring everyone around.

The answer lies in change. Embracing evolving—as disconcerting as it can be—is a part of life and the sooner we understand that, either separately or as a culture, the easier things will be. Last week, my 90-year-old grandmother saw an old friend from out of state, “It’s most likely the last time we’ll see each other.” When I asked how she felt about saying goodbye to her lifelong friend, she said, “You get philosophical about it.”

By getting “philosophical,” my grandmother has moved beyond the fears that plague usall into a sense of acceptance. She said this two weeks after losing my grandfather, a man she was married to for 66 years. Her birth in 1918 was at home because of the flu pandemic and she lived through the Depression, raised three daughters and countless wars (domestic and worldwide). One daughter died at the age of 35. My grandmother lost both her breasts to breast cancer, one at 40 and the other at 80. She survived colon cancer and that was after the mastectomy at age 80.

In other words, life is hard enough. We traverse and negotiate the political pendulum swings, the personal crises, the jobs losses, the illnesses and deaths. Why listen to what “they” say? Why not look at that constant barrage of audio-visual media flack as an annoying, yet tolerable neighbor—nod politely and move quickly away.

If that happens, even once in a while, we will all get that break we so badly need. We can move toward a more peaceful coexistence with the burgeoning media marketing machine and eventually, heaven forbid we may outlive this trend all together. Bottom line is, the media can influence us, just as any other outside entity can, but what makes us grow and move forward is choice. We can choose to turn off, not buy, not attend and not participate. By doing so, we create and control our own destiny—a powerful and daunting choice, indeed.

Comments

great writing, it is so, very true. our greatest ability is choice. too bad that nowadays people tend to forget about it and believe they are unable to make choices to better their lives.